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Please help- Would you interview me for job..10 points for honest answer. Thank you?

after reading my writing sample. Thank you so much for your kindness and honestly.. P.S. I know it is wrong section, but I always have honest and good advice mature people :) ############# Introduction The Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS (HOPWA) Program was the first program of its kind that was established to address the growing needs for housing for homeless persons, low-income individuals, as well as families that have been affected by the HIV/AIDS Virus (HUD, 2003). The significance of this study is to show the extent to which the HOPWA Program has in fact fulfilled its mandate by Congress to provide assistance to families, homeless persons and low-income persons living with HIV/AIDS. Review of Literature HOPWA Program was designed to provide housing assistance as the annual output measure; and to collect client information demonstrating the outcome for improved housing stability for the special needs population (HUD, 2003). In addition, HOPWA also makes grants to local communities, states, and nonprofit organizations to provide housing assistance and support services to low-income population with HIV/AIDS and their families (HUD, 2006). The funding request for the program is need-driven and reflects the department mission for providing permanent housing assistance to the populations who has very low-income and living with symptomatic HIV/AIDS, who also face chronic homeless and other challenges (Kingsley, 2007). Studies show over 90 percent of HOPWA funds is distributed according to the number of people living with HIV/AIDS within a state or community (Ramirez, 2006). HOPWA funding is integrated into the overall federal response to the population living with HIV/AIDS (Swindell, 2007). Recently, HUD united with the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and other federal agencies on a range of projects to promote better housing, health care, and other support services to those individuals living with HIV/AIDS (Saul, 2007). Results The U.S. federal government has made available over $2.3 billion in HOPWA budgets to support communities to establish and operate HIV/AIDS housing (Bruce, 2001). The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development provided 294.75 million to HIV/AIDS housing assistance program (HUD, 2006). The following chart indicates HOPWA budget for the period 2005-2007: According to the chart, the 2005 budget requested for HOPWA was $294.8 million, which was level with the fiscal year 2004 (HUD, 2006). In 2006, HOPWA budget decreased to $286 million. In 2007, the program seeks $300 million (HUD, 2007). Summary of Findings and Implications Findings states that if the HOPWA program were to stay within budget, there would be a significant decrease in many of the services that the program offers such as housing assistance and medical care for people with HIV/AIDS. The following table describes the performance measurement system and how the system will be implemented. In conclusion, the HIV/AIDS cases are increasing faster than assistance can be given to the people. The findings show that even though HOPWA is not staying within budget, they are still being effective not only to the people living with HIV/AIDS but other communities as well. The future of the HIV/AIDS community is greatly impacted by the amount of money that HOPWA receives in funds. It is a research paper. No. It is not a writer position. It is a program officer :) Thank you. I did the best I can. I do not want to over edit my writings. It is my work, not others :)

Public Comments

1. I didnt read it all, but what does this have to do with marriage and divorce?
2. i would employ you, but you do not have to give so much information out, only answer the questions which are asked, as you will sound over qualified for the role or vacancy applied for
3. Absolutely not, this piece is as dry and dull as toast in the Sahara Desert. You have to include a human interest story of some kind in all of this; and in addition the piece needs to be edited so that it is much more concise and to the point and less monotonous in language and tone.
4. If the job is as a writer I wouldn't interview you. You need to proofread this again or better yet, have someone else do it. You are probably too close to it to see your errors at this point.
5. "was established" = passive voice, weak "persons" sounds ostentatious -- "people" would be better "populations who has" = subject/verb disagreement. Should be "populations who have" "face chronic homeless" should be "homelessness" "294.75 million" -- 294.75 million what? Rupees? Yen? Euros? You're missing a dollar sign. "budget requested" = passive voice, weak "Findings states" = subject/verb disagreement. Should be "Findings state" "The following table describes" -- What table? Your lack of writing skills makes me both 1) not want to hire you and 2) feel a negative opinion toward HOPWA.
6. Last two paragraphs read okay, but the rest requires more breaks in the sentences. Though perhaps the real written piece does have them, just when you copied it it bunched together? It feels rather than like you've put together your own written piece, you've strung together a load of facts and figures. Make it more reader friendly and natural. Good luck
7. Tell them what you want to say, say it and leave them wanting more, its too long really. Don't fully understand it but to be honest I wouldn't interview you on the strength of whats above, consider revising. Unless you are capable of saying what you want to say in as few words as possible you may fall flat here. All my best wishes anyhow.
8. i would your clearly an honest person to give so much info