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Grammar help please. 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?

Please find enclosed a research paper submitted as a Public Budgeting semester project to the faculty of Bowie State University in 2007 entitled "Review and Performance Analysis of the HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for Persons with Aids) Program as Administered through HUD (U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development)". The enclosed version is an abridged version, condensed and summarized for this important application. I would also like to express my deepest gratitude for taking time from your busy schedules to review my application. I am very interested in meeting with you for an interview to express in person my sincere interest. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me by phone ..or by e-mail... Thank you very much again for your time and consideration. Respectfully yours, Sudarat Tuntivivat

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1. Enclosed is my research paper submitted to Bowie State University in 2007 as a Public Budgeting semester project entitled, "Review and Performance Analysis of the Housing Opportunities for Persons with Aids (HOPWA) Program as Administered through the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD)." This is an abridged version, condensed and summarized, for this important application. Thank you for taking time from your busy schedules to review my application. I am eager to meet with you in person. If you have any questions, I can be reached at [x]. I look forward to hearing from you. Respectfully yours, Sudarat Tuntivivat
2. I like JC answer. KISS it. Keep it simple. Good work