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Strange (but funny) classifieds..... can anyone confirm any of these?

The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES. ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175. OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB. 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300. ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS AND NOW FOR THE BEST OF THE LOT: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently married; wife knows everything

Public Comments

1. hahah love the last one FTW
2. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! I love it, just what I needed on a Sunday evening thanks! x
3. very nice. that last one is the best... lol.
4. Hahahhahha! I love the Nordic Track one.
5. Ya their all pretty funny cept the nordic track one. PLEASE VOTE ME BEST ANSWER@!!!!!!