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What would you do in a situation like this one?

My male best friend and I, both were going thru some drastic life changes and both needed some help. I'm a pretty independent person and i've had to fight for everything i got, however my last relationship left me struggling with my job and bills ect. My best friend however just ended his marriage, lost his house,ended his career in the army and was living with family workin pt @ a grocery store. He needed a jump start to establishing himself again, where i needed someone to drag me outta the dirt before i lost everything i worked so hard for. We both agreed to live in my house where i would provide everything he needed (which would be easier and quicker then him trying to do it) and he would in turn split the rent and buy food and try to get back on his feet. Some where down the road he ended up falling for me knowing that i only wanted to be friends. To make a long story short, he is proving himself to be very unstable emotionally. He's very short tempered, hotheaded, and very angry and takes it out on my house (which i rent but am responsible for) busting up my toilet, he wouldnt let me leave the house until i heard him out, kinda man handled me a lil but he didnt punch me or anything extreme, however i still called the cops and had him removed from my house. In the mean while he would still hang around the house, call me all the time, ect. He told people that i was his confidence, and that he felt he could connect with me, or felt comfortable talking to me ,ect. I feel bad b/c i want to help him, he's a good friend of mine, but i cant seem to get thru to him without him getting upset. I feel that his attitude is bitter towards me b/c he feels that he has tried very hard to prove himself to me during his stay here and i still dont wanna be with him. Now we talked about this already on several occasions, and he agrees with everything that i say, but its as if his actions are speakin louder, and he'll have hissy fits when he doesnt get his way or if we dont see eye to eye. Now i have a male cat who will be a year in feb. Now he says he likes the cat but yet feels the cat has more authority over him in the house and enjoys any chance he gets to squirt him or whatever b/c he thinks that when he goes to discipline him, i get upset and he feels im choosing the cat over him. My problem is that i care for him and want to help him but not under these circumstances. I dont know how to get him to reason with me or what i can do to make this situation better for the both of us. I hope this doesnt sound like im bashing him, im just at my witts end, altho its so nice to have a helping hand. He's a good hearted person and he means well, but i know he's feeling insecure and im sick of hearing him sing "heartless" by kanye west in the bathroom (i know its dedicated to me altho he says its not) and im definitely sick of the arguing about my love for my cat, or how he would say "being up my cats a$$ all the time".. is it just me?.. what can i do to ensure that we can both be happy? I just wish he could respect my wishes and stop feeling betrayed by me b/c of my decision. I told him you dont wanna be with someone u have to force to love and he agrees but still walks and talks with a chip on his shoulder.. any advice will be appreciated. We both need options. thanx in advance.

Public Comments

  1. Hi well it comes down to putting ur foot down and parting company coz ur both toxic to each other and he is down right dangerous. Life is meant to be enjoyed not be taken up with others tantrums etc Taking out Intervention order is an option so maybe think about that OK ? ♥
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