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Army Reserves to Active, married with children, husband's permission?

I am married with two children, enlisting in the Army Reserves with a dependent waiver. If/when I decide to go Active, will there be extra criteria I must meet to do so, as far as the family situation goes? Will I have to fill out a new family care plan or anything? Or here's the real question: will I have to involve my husband if/when I decide to go Active? Or can I switch to Active Duty without telling him ahead of time? Do I need his permission/cooperation? I ask because I might go Active and divorce him (I know this sounds cold, but believe me when I say I have very few options here). If I divorce him before going Active, he'll do everything in his power to keep me from going Active, just to keep me near him, plus the Army would (I think) want me to give up complete custody of our children to him. If I divorce him and go Active I will allow him to keep the children living with him, since he makes a good living, owns our house, etc. If I divorce my husband without Active Duty, I'll have custody of the children, whom I love, but he'll use them as an excuse to harass me constantly. Which means nothing will be different than it is now, excapt that I'll be on welfare. I truly feel that going Active might be the only way for me to get away from him (geographically and financially) without him being able to stop me. I'm not joining the Army for this purpose (I'm joining Reserves right now regardless, for my own reasons), but recent developments, along with old ones, have me desperate to make a break when possible. My children are no longer small, and will do well living primarily with their father. I'm prepared for the comments about what a cold calculating wench I am, but am hoping that a few of you can help me in between. I just need to know whether or not I can switch form Reserves to Active without telling my husband until the deal is done, so that he can't stop me.

Public Comments

1. Keeping all my personal opinions to myself- Yes you can switch to active duty without his knowledge. If it is approved you are going to have some explaining to do when the moving trucks show up. Yes if you divorce him and you are active you are going to need a rock solid family care plan.
2. you are you own person..do what you fell is correct