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How can i control my teenage daughter?

my husband is the disciplinarian in our house, but he's in the Army so he's often away. our 15 year old daughter is outspoken, domineering and unable to follow orders. i'm very submissive and i don't know how to control her, i think she's learned this behaviour from her father. how can i stop her treating me like her doormat?

Public Comments

Try Dr.Phil's website..it's not bad.
Take her to see a psychologist. You're covered under TRICARE, and if she's willful, disobedient, acting out, domineering and a behavior problem, it might not hurt if she gets evaluated for mental health issues. If your husband treats you like a doormat, you might want to make an appointment for yourself as well, and one for him when he returns from deployment. You're living in a dysfunctional environment, by your own admission. Good luck.
pretend you are sick. that usually works for me.
Ignore her completely.
slap her ass around and get her in check(like a black m0other would do)
take things away from her... she may act like she hates you or cry but don't fall for it...she is a teenager and just wants her way.. also whatever you do don't give up.
Stop ordering here, and stop letting her order you. Your family might be an army family, but you are not an army inside of your family. Let her know what you expect of her, why you expect her to behave that way, and let her be responsible for doing it or not doing it. She's old enough that you can't physically make her do anything, so try seeing what you can do to make her responsible for doing it herself. You set up what she is expected to do (X Y and Z for chores, her homework, getting her laundry to where ever you want it, being home on time), and you stand firm with those (firm but respectful). Then rather than trying to get her to do those things, show her what happens when she doesn't and when she does. Keep a clear connection between "Well honey, I'm so sorry, but you're responsible for washing the dishes, and you haven't. They're still sitting in the sink dirty, which means I can't cook tonight. Looks like we're eating quesedillas, microwaved veggies, and eating off of paper towels. Once the dishes are clean I'll be able to cook tasty food again." Homework can follow the same pattern. Help her see that she does her homework, does well in class, enjoys school, and learns. When she doesn't do her homework, she gets behind, in trouble with her teachers, bad grades etc. Do the same thing with being home on time. She comes home on time and she gets to spend time out with her friends. She can't come home on time so she can't go out with friends (though you could have her friends in your home where you can send them home at an appropriate time). At this age, it's not about controlling but teaching.
Send her to boot camp. You need to be strict and firm with her. Time to toughen up and show her that you will not be a door mat anymore.
don't talk to her. things get worse when my mother tries to yell at me even more. after a while she shud feel bad, then start to cry or try to fake it. that gets me to straighten up my acts. also, try being nice with her, like touching her hair or hugging her and tell her you love her. maybe shes acting this way from lack of attention/love.
Why do you need have control over your daughter? Children are still people and treating them as people with thoughts and feelings of their own will ensure they in turn realize that you as a parent are a person and deserve the same respect that you give. I'm guessing you are your husband's doormat as well, or she would not think it's okay to treat you like that. I would consider some family counseling and assertiveness workshops... especially for you. It sounds like you need to first take stock of your own life and where you are in it before you try and parent this child.
I'm 13 myself, so I know a little about stuff like this. First, only little kids should be "controlled." By the time a kid is a teenager, they know how they should be acting. They've already learned their manners and how to speak to adults. Consequences. That's what my parents give me when I don't listen to them. I Absolutely hate it, but I know in the long run it's going to help me out. Talking rudely to your parents is wrong. I totally understand that. However, I Absolutely hate it when I'm trying to kindly make a point on something and I get in trouble for "sassing back." Parents have to understand that just because someone is younger than them doesn't mean they don't have good opinions and ideas. If I get into trouble for something, but really it's not what my parents think, I believe that I should be able to defend myself before I get grounded or get privileges taken away. Honestly, you just have to put your foot down when it comes to not listening or talking meanly to your parents. However, please understand that sometimes your kids just have certain opinions on things that they would like to freely express with you.
Ignore her. Tell her that she seems to know what she's doing and you're fine with it. Soon she'll have a problem that she'll need to talk to you about.
a good hiding