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Can i legally stop a man stay in our house that i pay the mortgage on my though we are separated?

Hi there, I am currently separated from my wife. I am in the Army and working away and live in Forces Accommodation during the week. I come back to my house every other weekend to be with my Children. Recently my wife has started seeing another man and i know he has been spending the night there when im away. I don't give a damn that she is seeing anyone, that's her Business but what is annoying me is the fact that i am paying the mortgage and the secure loan on the house. I SLEEP on the floor or couch when i come home as i refuse to ask my children to move out of there rooms for me. Can i stop her bringing this man in legally, I don't want to upset my children and they say he is OK. but its just the fact that i am paying for him to stay over when he is away from work or his own house. I cant force her to sell the house. What can i do. We have NO separation agreement and i have not yet started divorce proceedings. She has stated she doesn't want CSA whilst i continue to pay the mortgage, However i have worked out that if i pay her CSA and make her pay her half of the mortgage i would be £200 better of a month. Any ideas what i should do. There is no way i would win a court battle to gain custody of the children I travel 420 miles round trip to see my children and this costs me money. So any spare money i have seem to be spent on fuel or food for my children when i come home and paying of bills.

Public Comments

1. so. you are paying to have some guy come over and bang her huh? next time i take your wife out for dinner can you pick up the check too?
2. Talk to the police.I would think you could stop it.
3. "I cant force her to sell the house. " - you can, Divorce her, split the assets and move on. She will have to move on. You will still get to see the kids.
4. No you can't stop your wife from inviting a guest to stay in the house. However you should consider getting legal advice about a proper financial settlement. Depending on your financial circumstances you may get legal aid for this. However, even if you have to pay a solicitor, it will be worth it in the long run. Good luck!
5. unfortunately, you are paying for his good time. until you have an agreement in place, you will continue to pay
6. well basically if your still married, then the property is technically both of yours...id say it like this...your going to be paying for the house anyways...if the guy is an upstanding guy, and hes not directly mooching off of your money, then dont stress that much about it..if hes only staying a night here and there..then so be it my man...if youve truly moved on, then let it go....but technically you are still married...so heres what you do...when you file for divorce, legally you can prove infidelity based on the fact she is seeing him because you are still married...so make sure you get a good lawyer....and since you can prove that to the judge, im pretty sure you can get whatever divorce terms you want...just make sure YOU file first....but honestly, nothing wrong with just having a grown up, sit down and talk with the guy to express your feelings...if it were me, and i was sure that my kids were safe around this individual, then i wouldnt stress it so much...AND MAKE SURE THAT WHATEVER MONEY YOU ARE GIVING HER EVERY MONTH, YOU MAINTAIN RECORDS OF IT SO YOU CAN PROVE IT WHEN YOU GO TO COURT, TO AVOID ANY SORT OF BACKPAY RESTITUTION...
7. Call the police i believe you can, and get proof that your wife is cheating on you with him. Even though you are seperated you are still married and who knows what she was doing before you were seperated. It will help in the divorce, as for him i would tell her that you pay for the house and do not want him there. You still married and have control of your kids so send them to a relative of yours and stop paying for the house or get the locks changed! If you don't want him there then you can enforce it. You pay the bills! Im sorry you married a whore, i have strong opinions about a woman who marries a military man then takes advantage of him and starts seeing other men immediatly or more likely was cheating on you during your deployments.
8. Unfortunately you can't stop your wife having friends over, be they male or female, regardless of what you are paying towards the house. You really, really must get things sorted on a legal front - go and see a solicitor please. good luck !
9. set up a recording camera in your bedroom, that material bedroom, so can catch her in the act of cheating. then go to court for divorce and while this going on can have an order stopping her b/f being around the kids (know somebody who done this) and also if your paying for the house you have the right to kick ANYBODY out of the home, regardless if she invited over due to confusing the kids and not in best interest for them for time being! speak to the lawyer about this and s/he will advice you more than anybody here can on what to do but i would advice to go for a divorce, this will make her pay for the house if she wants it, put into her name and you have more money in your back pocket for your children, can book into somewhere when visit and they come spend time with you so have you time with the kids without anybody interfering! speak to lawyer get action into this divorce and be free to date somebody self but also with time for you and the kids! good luck!