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Need advice: How is it fair that she judges me for the fact that I'm pregnant and she's not?

I am 27 and pregnant with my 3rd baby due on May 22, 2010. I have a 3 year old daughter and 1 year old son. We want 4. My problem is my 28 year old cousin. She's trying to have a baby and can't get pregnant because she found out she has one ovary. She is starting fertility treatments next month after finding out last month. Here's my beef: I tried for 4 years too! My husband was told at 6% normal sperm that we'd never have children naturally and that if we did it'd be a very slim to not possible chance. We got pregnant about 3 months after being told this naturally. We figured that because it took that long that it would take a long time again, WRONG. My two oldest are 23 months apart and the second and third will be 20 months apart. Last weekend we went to her house for the Canadian thanksgiving. She invited the whole family so we went (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). She told my other cousin in front of my husband how she was jealous of us and giggled. A week later I found out that she told our aunt that she THINKS that we don't deserve a third child because we are living with my Mother in her basement and don't have a lot of money and that she does deserve to have a baby because she's got her house paid for that she built with her husband AND they have the money. We moved in with my Mom because my husband is joining the army and I would like to be with family when he moves. He has been laid off because construction here isn't as strong. With the recession there aren't a lot of jobs here. He finally got another one about a month ago and we finally have some more money coming in (more than EI). She's telling everyone in our family this little tidbit of info except me and I think she's being a b**** about it. It's not my fault she was born that way and it's not my fault that she can't get pregnant naturally. She's even said crap about her other cousin on her Dad's side being pregnant and due on Jan 1st. She does have a nice house, lots of money and drinks a bottle of wine a day. Personally I can't say what I really think on here, but what would you do in this case? She can't be happy for others, but maybe it's God's will or karma. She always acts perfect and thinks she's the greatest and brags NON stop about her house, her husband and the fact that she only works part time and has such a great life. I complimented her house and I avoided talking about the baby at all. She couldn't stop bringing it up. She kept sneering that I couldn't drink and would laugh. What would you do with a cousin like this? I just want to ex her off facebook and ignore her forever. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel SO much better now. I feel so hurt and stressed out that she could be so shallow and think of me this way. Our other cousins both have four and three children and I don't really see how I could be her choice of enemy.

Public Comments

1. She resents you because you have what she wants. She believes that she would be a better mom because she has more money but I promise her negativity would make it hard for a child to be happy. Next time she is ugly to you tell her that it is not your fault that she can not conceive so she should not be bitter to you. If she denies the bitterness just laugh and tell her that everyone knows she is and she needs to except the fact it will take her a while longer. Some women feel like they are less of a woman if they can not conceive. It is stupid for a woman to believe that but it is true. If she was really proud of her house and money she would not have low self esteem.
2. She is just completely jealous of you that you were able to have children and so far, she cant. However I too would be angry about the way she is acting. I would personally just confront her and ask if there is a problem. If she wants to know what your talking about then just tell her that her comments about you and your family to other family members dont go unnoticed and you dont appreciate them. Tell her you are sorry about her situation, but acting childish towards family is not going to get her a child. Your business is your business and if she doesnt like your life style then she is free to ignore it and move on. Other then that just ignore her hun. Having a house and only having to work part-time obviously doesnt bring her any happiness so if anything, just pity her. She will never get the things she wants in life acting the way she does. Good luck with your baby!
3. congratulations!! you should not feel any guilt! every person is difference and the way i see it if things happen to her for the way she is. if she was more caring and helpful and just be happy for you and everyone else then maybe god would give her the child she wants. sounds like she has an attitude she needs to change, shes not gonna end up pregnant bragging about the money she has and how she can afford to have a kid,. becuase with money or no money,. anyone can have a kid. must be harded for those who dont. just be happy you are able to have the kids! and ignore your selfish ass cousin.
4. Hey hun, I sounds to me that she is REALLY jealous and wants to make a big stink about it to make her feel better. The sad thing is I see this a lot, when you are pregnant or trying and some else is having a hard time they get really jealous. She is just mad because you already have two and one on the way. Dont even feed into her crap, she is just trying to get a rise out of you. It is sad that your own family could say something like that, but you would be surprised how sometimes even family will turn on each other. As for your money situation you are doing everything you can to provide for your family. Your husband is joining the army so that he can make more money, even though he will have to be away from his kids and you for a while. You guys are doing everything you can, and I think that makes you a good mother and him a good father. I know how hard it is, my husband lost his job and I might have one on the way (crossed fingers) and it is worrysome but you cant stop life. Keep your head up and ignore her, and if you cant take it that much longer rub it in her face lol. Maybe if she doesn't stop telling her how immature she is being. Try not to stress you have enough on your plate. Worry about the hubby and kids and one on the way. Thank God everyday because you are blessed!! Try to relax for the baby and enjoy everyday. Good luck with everything. Blow some dust my way, I am testing this week.