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How does a person choose a career path when they don't have any direction in life?

I am turning 35 years old next month and have been seriously racking my brain the last few months on what and where to go in my life right now. Which, at the moment, is not where I want to be. Let me explain that in more detail. I came back to Alaska last year from California. I was faced being homeless for the 4th time in California and I did not want to go back to that. Prior to moving to California I had worked 17 years in a local night club. Pretty much doing everything from Janitorial, Disc Jockeying, Bartending, Security. Since I started working there I discovered a lot about myself as a person. A lot in which I did not know back when I was younger. I know the only position I am any good at, ......actually, I should tell it like it is. Since I started working there, I have learned I have a number of disorders. Disorders that make my life fairly interesting being around a large group of people for a long period of time. Among those disorders are ones like Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, OCD, Panic and very bad Anxiety attacks. Rage disorder, and PTSD. I learned that I do better in smaller crowds and in comfort zones. I have found out, through experience, that if any of my disorders rear their ugly heads. It usually is not a pretty site. Most of the time I keep them to myself. Keep all the symptoms of my disorders from showing up when I'm around anyone. Only problem with that is it only works for me. Meaning, that I'm able to keep myself in check. I'm able to not let it show that I'm OCD, or Bipolar, etc. etc. However, with doing so, i tend to withdraw. With Anxiety attacks all my muscles tense up and after awhile it tends to REALLY start hurting. Yet, i cannot stop cause it is just something that happens. Something I go through. Its kinda like breathing, or eating. Its just happens. No, I do not take meds. Yes, I have taken meds before with no success. And, even if I wanted to take meds, which i dont, I cant afford it due to me being unemployed and living out of an area in one of my old jobs. As I was saying before, that job, the only thing I was really any good at was Disc Jockeying. But, even that had its pitfalls. I've been fired and let go so many times at that job. The owner seriously has a problem with hiring me back. Not because of being out of place or out of line. For the most part, I've been known to just walk right out the front door in the middle of my shift and call in later when I've had a chance to collect myself. My disorders are ruining my life and, most of them, I will live with for the rest of my life. Yet the only thing I can do at this point is look for a method that works for me. To be able to go to school, or find a job to live and take care of myself. Yet, at this time, I have little to no idea of where or what to do. I've been to see counselor after counselor and all they really want is for me to be on meds. Which, I would rather not take. Not to mention, I can't afford to go see any more cousnelor's I feel, that if I'm able to control my weight problem. With exercising and eating healthier. That I will be able to have a better self esteem, more confidence, and, I know this will sound funny to some but, actually be able to wear clothes that employers want me to wear. I would be able to function better and take control of my life I'm living in poverty and I can't seem to find a way out of it. I've been thinking about going to college to get a better education. But with that, I was never really any good at school in the first place back when I was younger. I often scare myself out of following through with placing that call to the college. Yet, at almost 35 years old. What does a man do to be able to support himself. I don't want fame, riches, or material things. All I want is to be able to pay the bills and be able to put food on my table with out having to worry where the next meal is coming from. Living on food stamps and out of food banks really sucks, if you know what I mean. I'm not opposed to going back to school, just scared if I will be able to handle it is all due to my disorders. Lets see here, what are my hobbies and things I'm good at. * I have a good radio dj voice, or as a radio dj for 25 years has told me. In which, I had thought of starting my own Mobile DJ business. Yet, with no money its sorta hard to do that. * I love to sing, and I'm actually good at it, yet I don't really see myself singing as a career choice. Unless maybe, it was as a Christian singer. * I do like to cook, and that was one of the reasons I moved to Cali. I have a knack at making new recipes, and I was looking into going to school for Culinary Arts. But, with my disorders, that would not have been a good choice. * I love to write poetry, and Ive been working on writing enough to make a book, but then again, who knows, maybe Im not that good. I know my last two works have really had some say, Wow! Bout the only thing I coul

Public Comments

1. Don't hate me but I have bad news. You have too many problems and your to old to get started at a dream career. Same as me, i'm 30 and have faced reality. We have bad luck. Sorry.
2. buy a bunch of dj equipment and run an ad in the paper for dj service, thats what my friend in school did and he had loads of cash , and he was always going to parties.