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How do I stop an evil sock puppet with magical powers?

My friend let her army of sock puppets have a sleep over at my house last week and one of them took a liking to me. He even died his hair blue, like mine! Anyway he came over to my house today with his girlfriend another sock puppet named Penguin-Food. She looks like a duck, and she keeps on trying to destroy me. How can I stop her? She is also evil, very evil!

Public Comments

1. light her on fire with a magic candle. works for me
2. Call in the Muppets. Their sock puppetry is no match for Miss Piggys camel toe of wrath.
3. Turn her nostrils into the hypotenuse of a triangle and turnips shall cease their caterpillars from returning to the bad samosas living in Taiwan.
4. Simple get a sock puppet named Hungry- Penguin and let him eat Penguin-food.
5. hm... yes i do believe this happens often.. hmm.. but that would be a good question, how do you stop an evil sock puppet ... AH! rudimentary, yes you must find a gallant magical shoe to stop that fiend witch sock ... wait, an evil magical sock puppet, my god! your wacked.
6. The best way to solve your dilemma is to leave the bong alone. Or to leave the paper tabs alone. Or to quit hitting the pipe. Or make a sock puppet of your own, named Bird-Shot the Labrador Retriever. Make him really scary, with silly googly-eyes and everything. Feed Bird-Shot the Saving Puppet some of that good stuff you've been obviously imbibing & watch the sparks fly!