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Am I being too sensitive because he wouldn't give it to me?

My fiance never remembers dates, except his birthday or obvious holidays like Christmas.He even forgot my birthday. His parents' birthday is next week, so I thought I'd be nice and buy birthday cards to send to them. I searched for days to find the "perfect" cards for them and finally decided to use blank ones and write a nice sentiment in them. I was very happy and geared up to send them. When I asked him for the address, he said," Oh yeah, that's right, their birthday is next week." (so indeed he had forgotten). He became very guarded about the address and said that they are old and senile and that they wouldn't remember who I am,( I understood that) so I said," Of course you will sign your name on them too." He quickly changed the subject and got off the phone. I am hurt because the way I was brought up, we always made a big deal about birthdays,(even if all we could send was a card) it is about recognizing the loved one's special day. I went through a lot to find the cards and to create the "perfect" birthday poems to go into them. I wanted to do something really special because as his parents they are special to me. He just shot down my kind heartedness like it was nothing and I don't understand why. I feel like maybe he is ashamed of me or doesn't want his parents to know about me. Because he is forgetful about dates, isn't it my job to help him remember little things like this? Am I being too sensitive here? What's wrong with just sending a birthday greeting? Please help.

Public Comments

1. I would seriously reconsider marrying a man who forgets your birthday and is so rude to you. He should be treating you like a princess. It's only going to get worse from here, sweetie. I'd find a new guy.
2. UNless he has some kind of super ultra secret plan, initially he comes off as a jerk. Courtesy and manners is nothing to be ashamed of
3. sweet mildred is our leader crawl into her playpen
4. His parents won't remember you? Maybe you need to find out what is going on between him and his parents. Something isn't right. How is it the two of you and the families are planning the wedding? It's not your job to help him remember dates. I'm sure he knows and just doesn't care enough to deal with things- that's his problem, not yours. There is nothing wrong with sending a birthday greeting- you go ahead and send the cards for yourself.
5. In this case it has nothing to do with him remembering their birthdays. His attitude tells me that he is in bad with his parents and doesn't want to even see them nor to have you see them. Maybe he is hiding something from them like maybe they wouldn't approve of you or your nationality or religion. There is just something more going on here than you are seeing by the way he avoided the address and also said that they were just senile. No 'loving' child would say that about their parents so he sounds like he isn't in a good relationship with them at this time. I'd be cautious then about him too. How does he act about your parents. Watch his manners and eye contact to see what you really need to see but something is amiss in this for sure.
6. It is your job to help him remember dates. I would barely remember my parents' birthdays without my wife's help. It's just a guy thing. My wife has learned to start reminding me about her birthday about 2 months in advance so I don't forget to get her something. I wouldn't say that he's ashamed to talk to his parents about you. He could be embarrassed that you had to remember their birthday for him and he's being defensive. Maybe he's ashamed of their senility and doesn't want you to see them instead of the other way around. There could be any number of reasons why he's being weird about this.
7. You sound like a sweet girl. He probably just doesn't make much out of that sort of thing. He sounds a little insensitive but hopefully there are other nice things to say about him or you wouldn't be marrying him. I agree with flouride too.
8. this is not normal if he is really your fiance the cards are for them, not him. if he forgets your b-day forget his.
9. it sounds likes he's hiding something. how can his parents be living on their own if they're that delirious? for some reason he doesn't want you talking to them. something's not right here. don't marry him.
10. They probably don't know you even exist. He's probably with another, hotter, smarter chick that he's already introduced to his parents. If you send them a card, you will blow his cover. Don't mess things up between him and the other chick. His parents really like her and would be heartbroken if they knew he was cheating on her with you.
11. Hi jade, I can remember almost anything I do on the computer. I can tell you anything about star trek, I can tell you tons of meaningless mumbo jumbo. But I can't remember crap as far as dates go. I can't remember to take out the trash to the curb on trash day. In fact, my wife has sent me to the store with a list of 5 things, and I forgot something on the list. Go figure... My wife is my rock... She never forgets a date. We have 6 kids, 10 gran kids, her and my parents, her sister and kids, and on and on and on... She knows every ones Bdays, weight, clothes size and the list is endless...The point is she reminds me of everything, every time. So it is your job to help. That's part of what makes you a team. You are right to be offended. I would get to the bottom of it, before I put a ring on his finger. I'm leaning on their being another woman involved. The reason they wouldn't remember you, is because there may be someone else.