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How can i make this paragraph shorter?

o All Yahoo answer user this paragraph explains the Norman defence system, also is this paragraph good writing or bad? The superior conqueror of England, displayed his triumph victory of the Battle of Hastings on a tapestry, called “The Bayeux Tapestry.” The tapestry explained the story of how William became king of England. Norman castles are shown in our tapestry, as its one of the best substantial defense systems used by the Normans. After William won the battle of Hastings, he needed to take order of his new kingdom. When William became king of England he was not control of all England, as some England cities such as London were still populated by Saxons. William’s army was forced to crush many rebellions to take over England. During century of 1069-70 was the time of the “Harrying of the North,” a period where William’s army moved north, burning villages, crops, destroying houses, murdering locals. Wooden castles were built later, but then re-developed into steel castles (wooden castles are flammable). The castles took affect after conquering new cities. They were built outside Saxon towns, to stop Saxons from raising an army and preventing rebellions. Defeated Saxons were forced to build the castles. The Saxons hated the Normans, as they were treated harshly and they took their land. Castles had been built on the best location. Normans added essential defense techniques for castles by having moats to prevent floods, mottes (large hill to prevent invaders from attacking), bridges, bailey (small village by castle), gateways, and archer towers. During war, and the battle of Hastings, the Normans had a unique defense tactic. Horses were dominant. A charging horse could drive a lance through an enemies shield, and extra height gave a knight a longer swing of its sword. Normans weld wooden shields, daggers, spears, crossbows, clubs, battle-axes, and javelins. They had specific soldiers; archers, knights, soldiers on foot, and attackers. Our tapestry and William’s tapestry included distinctive and unique symbols. One distinctive symbol is weapons, including swords, shields, and crossbows. These weapons were intimidating. it symbolized power of the army, strength, and resistance. A soldier is another symbol that expresses cooperation and group defense. Hawks are commonly shown in the tapestry, which represents freedom, and predator, or in other words power. Castles displayed represent the Norman community, intimidation, and defense. The symbol that was extremely useful was mighty sailboats, which symbolized transportation and to hold cargo. Another source of transportation was the symbol of a horse, which also helped soldiers to fight. A commonly repeated symbol was the livestock to feed the community, such as cows, pigs, sheep, and goat. Overall the Normans were omnipotent, and had productive defense tactics, which interested me to choose this topic. In my opinion I believe that the Normans had a masterful defense system, which allowed them to take over England, stop rebellions, and never allow England to be invaded again. The Normans war tactics influenced their technique to medieval clans, to neighboring countries, and today it gave us an idea of the Normans lifestyle, and how they managed to defend and keep their long lasting, English civilization.

Public Comments

1. The English civilization will prevail. (Same thing, less words).
2. The first 4 lines are a paragraph. It would read better as: William the superior conqueror of England,displayed his victory at the Battle of Hastings on a tapestry called the Bayeux Tapestry, it shows how William used castles as the best defense system the Normans had. After the Battle of Hastings William had to take control of England, city by city, most of which were controlled by Saxons. Your pretty good at writing, but think of it as a newspaper and shorten the sentences that are repeating themselves, or using too many adjectives, and when you start another subject like: During the years of 1069-70...start another paragraph. You have several paragraphs. the next one starts at "During war, ... and the last should be: "Overall the Normans... Also phrases like "which intersted me to choose this topic," would read better as " which is why I chose this topic." Your doing a great job, and you should write more, proofread and think of your audience who are reading your work and imagine what will grab them and keep them interested, your half way there and good luck.