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Jobless: Can anyone help or give helpful advice?

I have tried many avenues of work throughout my life from; janitorial, hotel manager, general maintenance, bartender, disc jockey at a local night club, taxi cab driver. One thing I keep being brought back to, full circle, is that I work better, either, alone, or with limited interaction with others. Im sure that sounds odd when reading it from someone else's perspective. However, with all I have come to know about myself, including my disorders and what they are. Im sure most reading this will say, everyone has disorders, or issues on the job, to some degree. And while this may be true, I just need to find something I can do that works for me. Let me explain in further detail my dilemma. Lets take a janitoral experience of mine for instance. I was busy working away on the job when my supervisor walks in and starts telling me that Im not doing a good enough job. That if I dont take it seriously and do a better job then what I was doing I could lose my job. Mind you, I didnt say I word. I took what he said at face value and re-did the work he said was in question. No problem, right? Well, lets just say on the ride home I got an ear full. With very colorful language I might add. In which, I will not repeat at this juncture. Now, due to my disorders, (which consists of; Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, OCD, Complex PTSD, Aviodant Personality Disorder, Paraniod Personality Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, & Dependent Personality Disorder, and possibly TBI syndrome) it took everything I had not to go off on my supervisor. In other words, I bit my lip hard to control my anger with all he had said to me. Some may disagree with me here, however, I still believe to this day he was in the wrong with chewing me a new A hole. I may have done the job incorrectly and I will even go one step further and admit that I was lacking in my preformance. Yet, I do not think it was prudent to go as far as he did. Long story short. I got a call the next day from my boss. He told me that my supervisor had explained to him that I was to quiet when he gave me "constructive criticism" as he called it and said he felt as if I didnt preform as well as I should of. Mind you at this point, my supervisor had decided to leave out exactly how he chose to voice his " constructive criticism" about my work. And, I chose to let that part go and not say anything to my boss. I bit the bullet and took full responsibility for my lack of preformance. Said, it was just a off day, and my mind what else where. Wouldnt happen again! I could have told my boss about my supervisors actions, however I chose not to With the days that followed, I came to the conclusion that with my supervisors actions, and mannerisms toward me, that I was no longer welcome and he was going to let it show. Mind you, neither one of us said much to each other at this point. However, my disorders began to show at this time. My mind started twisting things, and going thru scenario after scenario in my head with my supervisor. One day on the job, my boss was there, and even his actions became suspicious to me and my mind wouldnt stop with all the twists and turns it was taking. A few days later I chose to put in my two week notice cause I couldnt take it anymore. I felt unwanted, and if I wasnt wanted there then why not quit Now I know everyone has issues at work, and not everybody has a good day here and there. There are even some that have to work with others that dont like them. However, with my disorders. It doesnt matter if things start off with everyone liking me at first. As time goes on, my disorders come out and usually turns people away. So, at this time, I am coming up empty handed with what to do. Mainly because, just about every job I have worked, Ive only been able to hold down anywhere from three to five months. Five months being tops, and even that is pushing the envelope. I am not apposed to working! Quite honestly, I love to work! In fact, i hate it when I am not working. Yet, how does one hold down a job when their disorders turns people away from them. I just need to find something I can do that works for me. Something I can do on a daily basis where it doesnt matter if I have disorders or not..... Anywho, just thought I would put this out there and see if anyone has any advice or helpful suggestions. As I have come to a dead end in the road, so to speak. On another note, I would like to add, Please, dont comment on this posting unless you have helpful advice and nice things to say. I have had people leave bad comments in the past on some of my postings and i would just rather not read them. Thank you all for reading this and taking the time to leave your comments.

Public Comments

1. best advice would be to talk to your therapist about this. Ask what your psychologist thinks you should do. With all the disorders you have..it sounds like you are hiding behind them a little bit too. Jobs are tough now with the economy and no matter how much it sucks to work with your boss or how much you hate the job..try to keep it. That's just life. We all have to make a living.
2. Hi, There is a Crossroads Career Network that may be of interest to you. I do not know where you are located so I do not know if there is one close to you. You can check their web site for that info. www.crossroadscareer.org They have monthly meetings and offer study courses. The meetings and encouragement are free.
3. This isn't quite so straightforward; try employment agencies, but make them aware of your issues, and see the way they respond. Whilst the world does NOT owe you a living, you have every right to expect to be able to seek, find and hold down gainful employment. Good luck!